July 5, 2001 - Volume 1, Issue # 4
Winner of the coveted Walsh Award!

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Reader Rants

You know the story on opinions. Everyone has one. I invite your rants and raves, your comments on any aspect of this site, and indeed, anything all, all of which I will try most faithfully to reproduce here. You may even include HTML tags in your rants and I will include them so as not to diminish one iota the beauty and perfection of your well-crafted pearls of wisdom.

I should point out that because I don't have any control over the host web server, I have to accept your letters via an email process, so it may be a while before you see your post, but I guarantee you, if you send it, it will be posted here.

Posted 4/20/2001 , by Emma , entitled, " Pahs is rill good "

I lahk pahs. Pahs is rill good. Ah mean, rilly rilly rilly good.


Kevin Responds:

Emma -- This is exactly the kind of cogent, intelligent correspondence I was expecting from my readers. Thanks for the feedback!


Posted 4/29/2001 , by Bill Reardon , entitled, " An Enigma "

I confess to being puzzled by your web site. It professes to be about building boats, and yet I see no links to other boat building sites, no tips for boat builders, only a title that implies that some building will take place, and a half-baked journal in which precious little construction is actually accomplished. I tend to think this whole thing is a sham. Please explain this to me.

Thank you.


Kevin Responds:

Bill -- I know it's a little confusing, but hey, life is full of little inconsistencies. Take for example the existence of margarine. I mean, what does that name mean anyway? And who the heck thought the Yugo was a good idea? Thanks for the feedback!


Posted 4/30/2001 , by K , entitled, " My Rant "

You ought to be a writer!

Kevin Responds:

K -- Ever since I picked up a pencil lo these many years ago, I've been writing one thing or another, whether it's a note to the judge explaining why I had a Great Dane in a no-pets-allowed apartment complex that sued me, or pleading for a mortgage. So I guess I am a writer after all! Thanks for the feedback!


Posted 4/30/2001 , by Speechless , entitled, " Your Pain "


It is good to see that someone else has taken it upon themselves to jump head first into the unknown. I thought I was the only one foolish er wel um well ambitious enough to attempt an endeavor of this magnitude. I feel your pain … well not really but you can pretend I do.

Kevin Responds:

Speechless -- I must first apologize for taking so long to get your rant posted, but it couldn't be help. If you think aboutbnts are preordained and life has a funny way of spinning curve balls at us when we most expect a fastball. All we can do is swing for the fences with each and every pitch and hope an anvil doesn't fall from a passing airplane and land on our heads.


Posted 5/9/2001 , by Painwatcher , entitled, " I can't believe you're building a boat "

Sitting from a far, noting your site and personally knowing of one who has the desire to build their own boat has driven or sailed me to give ranting a try.

Hearing (not watching) the activity that occurs behind the door to a once organized room that was designed to house automobiles gives me the uneasy feeling men really have a thing for power tools and sawdust. The amazing observation was/is the chemical ability it takes to create the "just right" consistancy of epoxy and what house hold kitchen utensils can be destroyed in the process. But my vote for the scariest part of a boat building project is when the builder of the vessle is making no noise at all behind that closed door to the garage.

I wish you luck and a lot of humor....

PS: a few more hits on your site and I will be investing in Home Depot and the Medical Field(s).

Kevin Responds:

Painwatcher -- I feel you feeling his pain! The truth is that men are driven not by some strange compulsion to operate heavy equipment or the need to create sawdust, but by equal measures of the need to create and the need to destroy. We create as a result of the Darwinian drive to leave something behind that will live on long after we've departed this earth, and we destroy simply because it's really fun.

Indeed, both of these compulsions are so ingrained into the male psyche (the only gender for which I am qualified to speak; for all I know women feel the same way, but I don't) that we attempt things for which we possess no qualifications whatsoever, like mixing highly toxic chemicals and running wicked, flesh-rending machinery at preposterously high speeds. If we survive, we can consider ourselves experts; if we do not, more the better for the overall health of the herd.

I further counsel you to not worry about the silence that frequently punctuates the constant whine of tools and the screams of pain behind the door. This is only a strategizing session in which the male ponders the next item on the execution block.


Posted 7/1/2001 , by Ruiner of All Things Wood , entitled, " Why just Mahogany? "

I think you should stop discriminating against non-mahoganistic wood. You should be ashamed of yourself. It is just as easy to piss off your spouse by ignoring her in favor of ruining cheap (in comparison to your precious mahogany)plywood or other knotty materials. In fact, I have lost several key appendages
ruining all kinds of crappy wood. So in my book, it's just as painful as mutilating ones self with mahogany. In fact you don't need wood at all, even an old crappy power saw (or not) will do the trick nicely. So fuck up some different wood you bigot!
Thank you for the insightful content of your page. (except the mahogany thing).


Kevin Responds:

Stubby -- I have nothing against Mahogany Americans, or indeed any other types of woods. I'm simply working with Mahogany at this moment, so it has earned an honored spot in the the Universe of Things Kevin Screws Up. And don't worry about losing those appendages; they're always found in the last place you look for them.


Posted 7/2/2001 , by Eric Raits , entitled, " I'm not that fat! "

Just put my 12-foot combination sailing/rowing/outboard dinghy in the water last week. It's a Fred Shell boat built from plans and I'm delighted with her. Am naming her Hannah Smith after a hermaphroditic 300-lb woman who adventured into the 10,000 Islands area of SW Florida around the turn of the century at a tender young age. She was well liked and ended up murdered in spite of that. I made all the mistakes you mention in your construction chronicle and more. Fortunately epoxy not only sticks well but covers peccadilloes and more major sins. Building Hannah took seven months of after work hours and many boxes of cheap wine. Cheers!

Eric Raits, Miami

Kevin Responds:

Eric -- The kind of person it takes to do what we are doing -- building boats out of wood when perfectly serviceable craft made from high-tech, ultra-reliable materials are highly available -- is eloquently underscored by your choice of names for your fine craft. Wonderful choice, and I heartily congratulate your blessed launching. If you have a photo, send it to kevinwal@hotmail.com, and I'll post it!


Posted 7/2/2001 , by Brother , entitled, " Not Building a Boat "

Hi, Kevin, this is your brother. Guess what? Bill and I threw a refrigerator out a third-story window yesterday. It was great fun and did no damage to the stairs and landing directly below. However, the stove took out the railing. Just thought you'd like to know.


Kevin Responds:

Brother -- I don't know, it could be that you're one of my brothers. I have several, and any one of them (myself included) is capable of this kind of childish destruction. Still, I don't believe you are one of them, since I don't know anyone named Bill, and none of my brothers would dispatch a refrigerator that way, especially if there were any possibility that food resided somewhere within.


Posted 7/2/2001 , by Brother , entitled, " Refrigerator Redux "

I am indeed your brother. You have met Bill. And you may be certain that there were neither food nor beer in that late fridge.

Kevin Responds:

Brother -- Brother!


Posted 8/9/2001 , by Your wife , entitled, " Get busy fat guy "

Okay, we have a new sailboat and no dinghy. I thought that was the point of the mess you were making in the garage! There has been no progress for some time now, and we really need a dinghy. And no bitching about bursitis! Bursitis, shmursitis! There MUST be something you can do!!

Kevin Responds:

Uh, the sun got in my eyes. I hurt my leg. I forgot. My hair hurts.


Posted 8/11/2001 , by A Fellow Dick Head! , entitled, " Who Else But Kevin.... "

Dear Favorite DH:

How nice to see that you're so productive! Will that boat ever sail to the Caribbean...where we can sit around all day... sipping cocktails, smokin' cigars and figuring out how to not get a drop of sun on us?! Humm...

Kevin Responds:

Hi, Larry! That sounds really good to me, but since when do you need a boat to do what you do best - sit on your ass and drink?


Posted 11/20/2001 , by Bob , entitled, " Come on! "

You just can't be anywhere near as big a dickhead as your web site makes you look, can you?


Kevin Responds:

Bob -- Oh, yes I can!


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